Being different is your greatest strength
“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.”
For the longest time, I spent my life thinking that the only way to feel proud of myself was through the external validation of the world and everyone around me.
I grew up in a family environment where praise was rarely given and the focus was always on what you did wrong. I lived in a small, predominantly white town in the 90s where racial slurs were thrown at me wherever I went. I was made to feel like I had no value to anyone.
I became desperate for the approval of others. I felt this strong need to prove myself and what I could offer the world.
After university, worried that I wouldn’t be able to make a living in music (something I loved), I gave up my dreams and became a teacher. It felt safe, guaranteed. Teaching is seen as a selfless sacrifice. You’re giving your life to educate and help the next generation. What a noble act!
Except I hated it. I never wanted to become a teacher. I did it because I felt like I finally had appreciation from the world and was finally seen to be someone.
What a ridiculous idea. I let teaching destroy my sense of self worth and mental health. And for what?
My ex once said “I don’t understand why you’re prepared to work yourself to death over this job”. I remember thinking she was crazy for saying that, but she was right. Why was I doing it? It wasn’t from a love of the work, that’s for sure.
I felt it was the only way to be seen as having value.
I’ve always wanted to change the world, but I’ve been going about it the wrong way this entire time. I’ve been working from the outside in.
“What jobs do people respect? I’ll do that, and then I’ll be respected. Then I’ll be worth something.”
For thirty five years, I’ve numbed my quirks, my skills, the things I love that make me unique. I wanted to fit in with the world in a way I never could as a child.
But then I read that short Rumi poem. Again, for the people at the back:
“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.”
And now I want to work from the inside out.
Everyone in this world is unique, and I want to finally embrace my unique self. I won’t be ashamed of that anymore.
As Robert Greene said: always stick to what makes you weird, odd, strange, different. That’s your source of power.
I’m done trying to bend myself for external approval. I’m done burying what makes me different. From now on, I’m leaning into my authentic self, working from the inside out. That’s how I’ll start changing my world.
Being different is your greatest strength. It’s time to stop pretending it isn’t.
